Fights are incredibly draining these days. I feel like I’m putting so much energy into making progress, but I’m not feeling the rewards. It must feel like this for my partner as well. She’s putting in so much work and yet there’s nothing to show for it, because fight is happening again and again in the same exact pattern… It’s like every fight leaves you with less energy and more doubt. But I know that isn’t the case… We are making progress and we are getting better.

The emotional toll is starting to wear us down. The “emptiness” my partner is describing is like carrying a weight that doesn’t go away, even after things seem to improve. It feels painful to see my love feel empty and sad like that and same goes for myself. It’s a tough cycle of us fighting over and over again in the same way without change, where the emotional labor doesn’t feel reciprocated. Maybe she is feeling stuck…..

We need a break from all of this constant needing to fix… That doesn’t mean ignoring the issues, but letting us charge emotionally. We may need to pause. What we can focus on is finding a moment to reconnect. Not through making the problems better but to go over the things that brought us together in the first place…