Not only do I need to understand myself… But I have to understand my partner….

I did a very poor job today at understanding my partner. Whenever I get into an argument, I always have something that I have to prove and don’t do a very good job listening to the other person…

But the other issue I have is that sometimes I feel like I don’t get enough information or it just sounds very confusing. But that doesn’t make that an excuse! I just got to be better at making space for my partner to talk like she normally does. She is amazing speaker, but in arguments, it may get lost in translation due to emotions.. I’m the same! I probably make it hard for her without even knowing it… so what can I do for now?

I read that we have to explain what we feel in our body instead of saying what each other are doing to each other. For example. Instead of saying, you make me feel anxious, we can say “I don’t understand why, but I feel anxious right now. Can we talk about it together?”. By doing this, you are simply treating yourself as someone else that you are looking at together with your partner.

I’m not sure if this will help, but this is one of the option that I think I’ll go with to see how this works out. At the end of the day, this method avoids putting blame on my partner. It’ll be beneficial, especially if she did nothing wrong. Sometimes, I just feel the way I do because of something else. It’s something for me and my partner to figure out.