There is one item I have always been missing from the emotion mapping recipe of my partner. This is “what is her pain points and her goals”. I been getting better at understanding, what she is thinking, what she is feeling, and what she is seeing and hearing, but I’m missing her paint points and goals.

What is her rooted fear? Where does it come from? What is her secret goal? What does she want from this relationship? Something that is much more than putting labels on emotions and understanding what others are thinking. This goes in much deeper and even the person themselves might not know it.

I need to continue creating a good environment to open up. For both of us. Also, I need to focus more on non verbal cues. There are lot of clues that I am missing, when it’s in front of me. Also, instead of always trying to put my emotions and my solutions into her conversations, I should focus more on her. If I do want to get involved, I should try the 3 Fs, feel, felt and found. I can feel how she is feeling, and share similar felt that I had, and share what I found that helps. Use the 3 Fs as a recommendation and not force it onto her. But this should be saved as last resort.

I simply want to know what’s going “inside” of her. I want to be gentle and caring and let her open herself up first, so I can lightly peek in and just simply understand as much as possible. I should practice this.