As I was reading the emotional intelligence book chapter 3, I came across a quote “real results come from putting your momentary needs on hold to pursue larger, more important goals”. This quote really hit me in a way that made me think about how I always get mad and don’t think about the long term consequences of my relationship….

If I can stop to think about how my actions and behaviors will affect me and my love’s long term future, I should easily be able to stop myself from getting so angry. This leads to working on self management portion of the four skills identified in the book, which are self awareness, social awareness, self management, and relationship management.

A critical skill to practice is reframing the situation. I need to ask myself constantly, what am I assuming right now? What emotions are making me assume? Then look at the bigger picture to rethink and take accountability.

There are numerous times when I wish I had the chance to stop myself from assuming, because it goes down the rabbit hole that I don’t need to be. I don’t need to constantly assume, leading to reinforcing bad emotions if there are any. I need to take a step back and reframe the situation by identifying what emotions are in play, taking that out, and reframe the situation.

If I can reframe the multiple times where I assumed a lot in my relationship, it wouldn’t have turned out bad… It would have made me realize and be more accountable… I think I should practice this skill as much as I can given the chance..