I learned a thing called the RULER method from Huberman podcast during my run/walk. RULER stands for Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, and Regulating emotions. It’s quite interesting actually and the podcast was quite calming.

I understand now that there are more labels we can put on emotions. Getting detailed and understanding the breakdowns of our emotions are fundamental to raising our emotional intelligence it seems. For example, the podcast talked about an kid that was out of control. The parents of the kid screamed at the kid saying, you need to calm down, stop being angry, and go to your room to reflect! But is that anger? what is anger? Do you label someone who’s upset, angry? Do you label someone who’s ashamed, angry? Do you label someone who’s disappointed, angry?

The podcast went on to describe the story of the kid. The kid was getting bullied in school and was ashamed and defeated. The kid acted out because he wanted the parents to understand how he was feeling and needed help. But in the end, the kid didn’t get the help he needed. there was no benefit added. Instead, it added oxygen to the fire. This was because the parents lacked emotional intelligence. Now, this can be applied to any situations. From not understanding what employee needs as a leader (distressed/stressed/overwhelmed) to what a partner needs (support/safety/understanding). This tool is a preventative tool at the moment and not really a fix for well being. It seems like something one critically needs at an early age.