I hear this over and over, but it seems like I am not good at taking accountability and always shift blame onto others. It makes it feel like someone else is the problem.

In the heat of the moment, do I stop to think about what I’m saying? I also wonder how it’s coming out since I might be in the heat of the moment. I wonder if I can write down in my head what that feeling might be. Anger? Sadness? Pain? Upset? I thought to myself, is there a way to track this and stop whenever I realize I’m losing control? I looked at oura ring. It might be a good option for my partner and I. I think the best thing I can do here however, is to not talk as much and learn to listen and feel my emotions first.

It seems I’m not doing enough listening and validating. I should try focusing more and leave my own personal idea out of it. I shouldn’t interrupt and rush to fix things. I should definitely try to put myself in their shoes when I listen and empathize in every way even if I don’t agree. This is full respect that I should give. My undivided attention.

A neat process I can use is “Feel, Ask, Reflect” framework. A neat tool I can use is Empathy Map to understand what feelings are involved when other speaks.